


Estal Tay

by burgundyleopard



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-02
Updated: 2015-05-26
Packaged: 2018-03-15 22:34:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3464540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burgundyleopard/pseuds/burgundyleopard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Estal Tay is a young joined Trill with a dark past who’s been stationed on DS9.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

2373

Sleeves pushed up to his forearms and raktajino in hand, Chief O'Brien exited the turbolift, nodded to Major Kira, who was on duty in Ops, and made his way to Captain Sisko’s office.  As the doors hissed shut behind him, he asked, "You wanted to see me, sir?”

"Yes.  How have the upgrades been coming?" Captain Sisko was reclined in his chair, elbows on each rest with his fingertips touching in front of his face.  He wore an appreciative smile as he listened to O’brien’s report.

"Unfortunately a little behind schedule.  We've run into a problem with the Cardassian phaser couplings, and my engineering teams are spread pretty thin."

"Hopefully you're short handedness will no longer be a problem." He turned the young woman standing from a seat at his desk.  "Ensign, Chief O'Brien.  Chief, meet your new assistant -- Ensign Estal Tay." She firmly shook the Chief’s outstretched hand as he welcomed her aboard.  “Three more engineering teams will be coming on the USS Oregon tomorrow, but I suggest you two get to work."

 

The first thing he noticed was her spotted temples -- she was Trill.  In her mid twenties -- possibly just out of the academy -- but as he learned from Dax, if she was joined, there was no telling how many lifetimes she’d lived.  She walked a pace behind him towards the turbolift and asked, “Where are we going first?”

“Upper pylon 2, I read a fluctuation in one of the shield emitters this morning." At her nod, he stated his observation.  “You’re Trill." before directing the turbolift to their destination.

This elicited a small smirk.  “I am." She replied, glancing over to him on her right, and then continuing, “And yes, I’m joined."

“Our science officer, Commander Dax, is a joined Trill as well.  Have you met her?”

Her smile faltered a little, she averted her eyes, and her hands rubbed together behind her back, contrasting her otherwise confident and upbeat poise.  “Y-Yes, briefly.  A long time ago." She answered, as they exited the turbolift.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment!


	2. Chapter One

2373

 

The sounds of laughter, drinks clinking, and the occasional exclamation of “Dabo!” drowned out the electronic blip of the PADD as Estal read through the engineering specs for the weapons and shields overhaul.  There was a clatter from the cheap aluminum table as she set down the PADD to take a sip from her glass of rootbeer.  It hadn’t been bad for a first day:  They had fixed the shield generators, found the problem with the phaser couplings, and she had assigned an engineering team to get on top of the corrections.   While they had been making their way to the outer docking ring, she had had a chance to chat with the Chief. 

 

~

 

“Five.  Three older and two younger,” Estal had answered.  “My eldest brother’s got a little girl now, so I’ve got an adorable little niece! What about you? Your profile said you're married.”  

The Chief smiled, and with a hint of pride told her of his own family.  “Two brothers, a wonderful wife, a girl and a baby--”

“Chief!” interrupted a familiar, grainy voice, “We just tried rerouting the power though the secondary field inducers, but the couplings are still offline.  Should we bypass the…Estal?!"

Eyebrows lowering back to their rightful places, a bright smile bloomed on the Ensign’s face when she looked down at her slightly shorter friend.  “Hello, Nog!”

“Estal, I didn’t know you were here! It’s good to see you!” returned Nog in his usual , excited voice, his smile almost reaching his oversized ears.  

“Get over here and give an old friend a hug, Cadet!” she mock ordered, shortly before receiving a tight squeeze.

“You two know each other?” Chief O'Brien asked, as the young Ferengi and Trill were pulling apart.

“We met at the Academy…." Nog started, but Estal continued, “Speaking of which, what are you doing here, Nog?”

“Well, you see, I was stationed here a few months ago…."

  
  


Estal shook her head and smiled at the memory, as she set down her empty glass.  The academic portion of Starfleet Academy hadn’t been particularly difficult for her, and she had tutored Nog when he was struggling in his first year.  The social aspect hadn’t really challenged her either--she made a few good friends there.  What had been difficult was that she had been joined in her fourth year with such a troublesome symbiote.   Tay.  

  
  
  


They were in Upper Pylon 2, fixing the faulty shield emitter.  The Chief was on his knees, sticking his head inside the wall trying to bypass an induction coil, while Estal was squatting next to him handing him the tools.

 

“.  .  .  Coil spanner.  .  ."

Two tools changed hands.

 

“.  .  .  Field induction modulator.  .  ."

Again.

“.  .  .  Phase modulator.  .  ."

There was some rattling while she looked for it in the tool box.  She gave a sigh of exasperation and continued her search.

“I might have left it on the ledge on my right when we opened the panel."

“Right." Came the immediate response.  She stood, and walked the few paces to where they left the instrument a few minutes before.  Grasping it in her hand, she turned around to walk back, and took in the scene.  

 

The Chief had his head buried in the circuits, sitting on one boot and with his opposite knee to his chest.  He looked so vulnerable.  So unsuspecting.  So tempting.  She turned her eyes to the tool in her hand.  It was sharp, and if the tool was activated created an electric charge.  If it was plunged into a body, the victim would be dead in a matter of seconds.  There was sickening realisation of power with the thought.  

 

“Did you find it?” O’Brien’s voice snapped her back to reality.

“O-Of course.  Here you go." She shakily replied, as she passed the could-have-been-weapon safely into his hand.  The shielding on the bulkhead masked the fear and uncertainty in her voice.

  
  
  


‘What the hell were you thinking Tay? I thought we’ve been over this, in and out of counseling.  No killing, and no hurting anybody! That kind of power means nothing.’ she thought  to herself, as she set her PADD down and rubbed her temples.  She had managed to get the rest of the way through the Academy, with only a few close calls like this one, while mostly controlling Tay’s violent temper, but this reformation business was exhausting.  Estal was an engineer, not a counselor.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment!


	3. Chapter Two

Across the bar, Benjamin Sisko, Jadzia Dax, Julian Bashir, Odo, and Worf sat together at a large table recounting old legends from various cultures when Chief O'Brien showed up.  He was about to launch into an old Irish legend when he noticed Dax squinting at a figure across the bar.  

 

“Is something wrong, Commander?” He asked, glancing behind him at the object of Dax’s attention.

Turning to Benjamin, she stated, “I didn’t know there were any other Trill on the station."

“Ensign Tay?” The Chief quickly identified, “She just arrived this morning.  She’s my assistant." He thought that the captain would have told her, but it wasn’t his place to ask.  

“Tay?!” Dax exclaimed quietly, “What is she doing here?” and turning to Benjamin, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Benjamin and Odo exchanged looks, “Her request.  She asked that nobody except Odo be told exactly who she was, unless they asked."

“So she can kill me again?” Came Dax’s indignant reply, after which Worf sat up a little straighter.  

“I’ve had security shadowing her since she’s come aboard the station." Odo replied in monotone, “She won’t be killing anyone on my watch."

“Hold on." Said Julian, “Who is this Tay?”

Jadzia didn’t think twice.  “A murderer." 

“An old enemy of Dax’s." Benjamin corrected,

“She killed Torias, and tried to kill Curzon!” 

When a few heads turned their way, Benjamin motioned for her to keep her voice down.  “And Joran killed Sharel and his sister."

“Wait,” Interrupted O’Brien, “My assistant murdered one of your previous hosts?”

Julian furrowed his brow, and suggested, “Maybe you should start at the beginning."

“Tanel, Tay’s second host, and Lela, my first host, were political rivals on Trill." Dax started, “Tay’s fifth host, Tatai, was Audrid’s husband’s ex-fiance.  Tay’s next host, I don’t remember her name, sabotaged Torias’ shuttle, killing him.  Joran retaliated by murdering Sharel, Tay’s next host, and his sister.  Tay’s eighth host, Kete, tried to stab Curzon, but was arrested, tried, and convicted, or so I thought."

 

“Aidei." Spoke a calm, unexpected voice, stepping away from the post that masked some of her approach from Jadzia’s side of the table.  “Aidei killed Torias." She repeated matter-of-factly.

“Why do you sneak up on us?” Worf confronted, and Estal held her hands up in a ‘I surrender’ manner.  

“I didn’t really mean to sneak.  I just heard you talking about me." She responded in a calm, quiet voice.  “I know it doesn’t change what I did, but I want you to know that I’m truly sorry.” Dax’s eyes narrowed.  “But I can see that I’m not welcome here, so I’ll leave." Turning on her heel, and clasping her hands behind her back, she took a step towards the door.  Before she took her second step, she turned back, and opened her mouth to say something, but then looked to the floor, and walked away.  

 

Only Julian heard her -- with his genetically enhanced hearing -- when she whispered, “Night, Lil’ Cat." on her way out.    


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment!


	4. Chapter Four

 

Wiping a bead  of sweat from her brow, Estal walked briskly into the infirmary after her shift.  Doctor Bashir, who was seated at his desk, cautiously stood to greet her.  

 

“Good afternoon, Ensign.  How can I help you?”

“I need a hypospray of metrazene.”

Upon hearing her request, the Doctor’s eyes narrowed.  “Exactly what do you need metrazene for?”

A little irritated by Bashir’s suspicious poking into her personal business--especially after her already testing day --she replied, “You’re the doctor--so you should know it helps with the cohesion between host and symbiont.  I was supposed to take it a couple days ago, but I got so caught up with things that I forgot….” She rambled, “...and now I’m feeling the effects.”

“How long ago were you joined?” He asked, pulling out a tricorder.

“Little less than a year ago….why?”

“Metrazene can be harmful to Trill in large doses, especially those joined more than 2 or 3 years.” He replied, an edge of suspicion drawing on his voice.

Estal nodded.  “It’s also used to aid the joining process, and since mine was particularly rough, I’m still on it.” Off his look, she added, "Are you implying something, sir?"

“Of course not.” Came the to quick response, and he flicked the tricorder closed.  “In that case, maybe you’d care to tell me why you have residue of Ferengi blood on your hands.”

“Oh!” she responded, only afterwards realizing how incriminating it sounded, “Nog and I were fixing an ODS relay in the outer docking ring when he cut himself a little with a bit of jagged wall paneling.  I tried to convince him to come down here to get it fixed, but he insisted he was fine.”

He didn’t look convinced. “Infirmary to Cadet Nog,” he called, tapping his commbadge.  No reply.  “Bashir to Nog,” They both waited expectantly.  When they got the same result, Estal made a noise of confusion while Julian reached behind his desk and picked up a phaser.  “Security to the infirmary.”

Odo’s voice came through the speaker, “On our way.”

“What are you doing?” Estal asked, carefully, while shifting back on the biobed on which she was seated.

“The question is, what did you do to Nog?”

“I didn’t do anything to Nog!”

The infirmary doors hissed open, and Odo, Captain Sisko, and a security team marched in.

“Then why can’t I contact him?”

“I don’t know!”

“What is going on here?” Odo demanded, looking between the two of them.  Julian quickly explained the situation, his presumption that Estal had done something to Nog, and that she was going to poison Dax.

“Sisko to Nog.” The same result.  “Sisko to O’Brien.” No reply.  Odo and Sisko traded looks.  

A moment later, a female voice came on the comm instead.  “This is Lieutenant Davis, may I help you sir?”

“I’m looking for Chief O’Brien.”

“He’s in section H57, repairing a plasma conduit.  Comm signals can be flakey down there, so he asked that his communication be routed to me.” A small smirk appeared on the Captain’s face.  

“Did Nog go down there with him?”

“I believe so, sir.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant.” Odo nodded to the security teams, who put away their weapons and left the room.  “Mystery solved.” Sisko announced, raising an eyebrow at the Doctor, who put the phaser down and with a slightly sheepish look, went to fetch the requested medication.

Estal sighed and closed her eyes as she leant back in the biobed.

  


"What was I thinking, coming here in the first place?” Estal agonized, after telling O’Brien and Nog the events of the afternoon.  “To think that Dax might actually accept an apology, after all that’s happened.  Forgive and Forget.  Ha! We were better off with the ‘forget’ part.  I shouldn’t have come.” she rambled, and then said more decidedly, “Tomorrow I’ll ask Captain Sisko to put me in for reassignment.”

“Woah, hang on a moment.  Julian was suspicious of you, so you’re just gonna pack up and leave?” said O’Brien, leaning back into the replimat chair.

“It’s not just the Doctor.  Major Kira and Commander Worf stare at me when I’m working in Ops, and Quark glares at me whenever I walk by his bar.  It’ll drive me insane!”

Nog shook his head sadly, “You seemed fine at the Academy.”

“That’s because nobody knew.”

“Casey and Andrew knew.” Nog returned,

“They don’t count -- they knew me before my personality was messed with by all this...symbiosis business.” Estal replied, waving her hands to express her disgust with the situation.

The Chief looked at her quizzically.  “Why did you request assignment to DS9? Surely you must have known that Commander Dax is stationed here.”

Estal grimaced.  “I was interested in how you keep Cardassian and Federation systems working together properly.  Yes, I knew about Dax but I was naive enough to think that we could settle our differences.  Dax is as stubborn as a Kingon. She won’t forgive me so easily.”

“I guess a couple of centuries of killing each other isn’t something anyone can but behind them easily.” Nog noted grimly,

Estal rolled her eyes and replied, “Took me a couple decades of counseling to get mostly straightened out. Dax has every right to be angry, and not want anything to do with me. Maybe this is just a selfish endeavor for my own piece of mind.”

“I don’t think she does.” O’Brien replied, after a moment of thought, “Have a right to be angry with you, that is. You didn’t personally kill her other hosts.”

“And she wasn’t personally one of my victims. But she remembers it, and I remember it, so what does it matter who actually killed who?” she responded with exasperation,

“It matters because that was something Tay did, not Estal.”

“I thought we’ve been over this. I am Tay, and I am Estal.”

Removing his hands from his forehead and waving them in the air, Nog declared a draw. “You're both giving me a headache with all of  your ‘Who is Estal really?’ talk. I don’t know about anyone else,” Nog added, “But I like having you--whoever you are--around! And I’d prefer that you stayed.” Nog won a smile and an affectionate squeeze of the shoulder.

“Alright. 2 more weeks, and if things don’t get any better, I’m outa here.”

 

Their meeting was adjourned when a comm call from Keiko O’Brien informed them that the Chief was going to be late for dinner. 


	5. Chapter Three

 

The next day, Estal met the Chief to continue the work in a secluded area of the Habitat Ring.  It was uncomfortable to say the least.  He was always watching her, and never turning his back on her.  She kept her shoulders back and her chin held high, and her usual happy joking attitude, but they spoke only about station matters -- nothing about the night before -- and only when necessary until it was almost lunchtime.  

 

“If you were imprisoned on Trill, how are you here, now?” O’brien finally asked, handing her a phase compensator.  

“I was wondering when you would ask." She replied, handing him a relay coupler.  

“If you don’t want to talk about it…” he started, but she interrupted, “No, no, it’s fine."

“After 21 years, Kete died in a detention center on Trill." Estal started,

“With our without the symbiote?” 

“With.  After which Tay was transferred to me."

The humming of the instrument stopped and he turned to face her.  “You wanted the Tay symbiot?”

She chuckled.  “No.  I didn’t.  Not at first…”

  
  
  


The sun reflected harshly on the modern, multi level complex that stood before her, but lessened when she stepped into the shade of the building.  Above the door read the address, Tajoti Detention and Reformation Center.  She rang the chime, and an older Trill woman opened the door.  “You must be Estal Lima."

“That’s me,” Estal nervously confirmed, looking past her to see the time on the chronometer.  0921.  She was supposed to leave at 1200.  Just 2 hours and 39 minutes, and she could go back to the Trill Symbiosis Commission and tell them she didn’t want Tay.  

“I’m Ryma,” They shook hands, “Let’s go see Kete."

 

The doors hissed open, and a whirling noise rendered both deaf to everything else.  “Kete!” Ryma shouted into the room, “Kete! You’ve got a visitor!” The whirling continued.  She sighed and shook her head.  Estal observed while Ryma marched into the room towards an older man leaning over some salvaged, burnt out parts, and flicked the tool off.  

“Hey! What d’you think you’re doin’?” he exclaimed, clearly angry at being disturbed.  

“You have a visitor today, remember?”

He slowly nodded and realisation dawned on his face.  He gave a toothy smile.  “Right….  right…." he glanced at the girl at the door, and furrowed his brow, “Estal, wasn’t it?” She nodded, “Name’s Kete.  Come on in!” She took a few shy steps towards a chair, and set her bag down.  “Can’t I get you anything?”

“I-I’m good." she stuttered, 

“Oh of course you are, girly." She winced at the pet name, and he waved her over to the table.  “Ya know what this is?” Gesturing to the chaos that covered it.  

“Replicator, sir?” 

“Very good! How’d you know?” Estal rambled off some technobabble regarding the parts she saw on the table.  Kete was impressed.  

“I’m an engineer, or at least I want to be." she finished, with a bit of a smirk.  

“An engineer, huh? Well let me tell you something any good engineer needs to know…."

  
  
  


“By 1200, I almost didn’t want to leave.  The replicator components were all in working order, and I learned enough tricks I could write a book." She finished, smiling at O’Brien.  “He was a proud, crazy, and violent murderer but I couldn’t let him die if he could change and learn to be a better person.  If they couldn’t find another host for Tay, he was going to die with Kete." They traded tools again.  “I’ve been joined for almost a year, but Tay and I still don’t get along.  He has violent urges and huge rages, but we learn to cope, and I think we’ve turned out alright.  Sometimes it’s scary,” she looked down remembering the day before, “but Estal hasn’t hurt a flea, and she’s not about to start anytime soon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment!


	6. Chapter Five

 

“Well that’s strange.”

“What is?”

“These readings I’m getting from the Ardus system--in the asteroid belt.”

“Which one?”

“The inner one.”

“What do you think it is?”

“Could be almost anything.”

 

Estal was seated in the pilot’s seat of the Rubicon, checking the the systems for their departure. It was quick and absent minded, she’d done it a thousand times before when Shael was a shuttle and fighter pilot. It was a bit different on a Starfleet runabout, but she took classes at the Academy (part of that come-to-terms-with-your-past thing) and graduated as a level 8 pilot, but as an engineer, she never thought she would use it.

One could imagine her surprise when Captain Sisko asked her the pilot a scientific investigation in the Ardus system--something only level 7 pilots and above are allowed to do--especially when he told her that it was Dax and Dr. Bashir who she’d be taking. 

The clamor of the airlock closing behind them announced their arrival. She looked up at them in acknowledgment of their presence. The Doctor carried a medical kit over his shoulder while Dax walked with her hands clasped behind her back, and neither met her eyes. It had been a week since the the incident in the infirmary, and she hadn’t spoken to either of them since. 

Trying to ease the tension that was growing to almost tangible levels inside the cabin, Estal said lightheartedly, “All aboard?” but it fell dramatically flat. Jadzia didn’t even look up as she slid into the copilot’s seat, and Julian tried to form a sympathetic smile that looked like something between a smirk and a grimace when he plopped himself down at the port-aft station. Taking a silent deep breath, she began the disembarkation procedures. 

“Ops to Rubicon,” Major Kira’s voice came over the comm, “you’re cleared for departure. Good hunting.”

Estal opened her mouth to respond, but Dax beat her too it. “Thank you Major, Rubicon out.” 

Belatedly closing her mouth, she set a course and sat back as she announced, “2 hours and 14 minutes to the Ardus system.”

 

Aside from the occasional blip from a runabout console or PADD, it was as silent in the cabin of the Rubicon as the vacuum of space outside. Each of the occupants was working on a PADD, with varying degrees of focus. The Doctor was working on a cure for a seasonal virus coming over Bajor, while intermittently glancing between his companions. Dax was supposedly working on some scientific report, but was mostly watching Estal out of the corner of her eye. Estal was very much aware of both of their stares, and was doing her best to ignore them, but after more than an hour and a half, she was running out of patience. Good thing they were almost there.

Setting down her crossword puzzle on the console, she stood and made her way the replicator to get a snack. She was pretty sure she could faintly hear Dax and Bashir talking, and she felt frustration cloud her thoughts. It was like being the kid at the playground that everyone pretended to be nice to, and then talked about behind their back. She was making an effort! The least they--she--could do is acknowledge her presence with more than the occasional glare or dirty look. She twirled her fork around her finger and tightened her grip on it. She almost stood up. ‘What on Earth do you think you’re doing? It isn’t worth it, and it won’t solve any problems’ said the voice of logic, ‘Keep it together.’

The fork slowly returned to the table. She forced herself to take a few deep breaths. Her forehead rested in her hands as she stared down at her half empty plate of mozzarella and tomatoes in despair. 

When Estal came back to the cockpit the clink of the glass on the dashboard seemed to echo in the resumed silence. Maybe she should try to make conversation, she reasoned, and tried to think of a reasonable conversation starter. “Have either of you been to the Ardus system before?”

“No.” Dax replied, giving Estal a scathing look. Estal winced and inwardly facepalmed. Of course they hadn’t. Neither of them had a high enough flight lever. If they did, Estal wouldn’t need to be here to fly them. Now Jadzia thought she was bragging. Great.

“Oh.” was her ever so eloquent response. 

Thankfully the doctor came to her rescue. “Have you?” he asked, a pleasant smile adorning his features.

“Shael did.” Dax recrossed her legs. Estal felt like banging her head against to wall.

“Why?” Bashir tried again to keep the conversation afloat, seeming to not notice Dax’s discomfort.

“He was reckless and cocky and enjoyed asteroid dodging. Abriella tried to talk him out of it, but never succeeded.” A smile formed on her face at the memory.

“Abriella?”

“Shael’s twin sister.”

“Was she joined as well?” The doctor was happily indulging in his curiosity about Trill families, completely oblivious to Dax’s growing discomfort.

“She was…” Estal answered carefully,

“Have you seen her again, or any of her next hosts?”

“Trills don’t often speak to family from past lifetimes." Estal answered factually, congratulating herself for successfully sidestepping the sensitive topic. Before the doctor could reply, they were interrupted.

“Abriella’s symbiot didn’t survive.” said Dax, surprising both of them. Her PADD dropped to the console with a clatter, and she swiveled her chair to face them sideways and stared blankly past them out the window.

Estal closed her eyes and rested her chin her hands. So much for sidestepping. Bashir looked between the two women. Shael. He’d heard the name before today. Searching his memory, he came upon the conversation at Quark’s, and immediately groaned and reclined in the chair in exasperation.

“...Joran retaliated by murdering Sharel, Tay’s next host, and his sister…”

Must they touchpoint on every sore spot of Dax and Tay’s relationship?


End file.
